How having a sick and dying dog changed my life and career

I know that sounds dramatic, but anyone who knows me can attest that it’s true. I am what you would describe as a stubborn, independent workaholic. I loathe asking for help. I like to have at least 3-6 jobs because if something happens to one, I need a back up to a backup to a back up job. 

And I love my animals. Now I didn’t realize how much I loved them or what I would do for them until one got really sick. I grew up in the 80’s where animals went to the vet only for emergencies. I didn’t think animals needed annual check ups, only if they were sick. This mentality bit me in the butt later on in my life as a dog owner. 

I have Bailey, a now 13 year old labradoodle (my lemon puppy) and a cat named Prince (formally called Princess because I didn’t know he was a male when I got him). In 2019, I inherited a miniature Schnauzer named Meena who was about 13 years old (we think) at that time. She had a health scare in 2019 that ended up with emergency surgery but lived and seemed to be happy and healthy afterwards. I declined all shots on her except for Rabies due to age so she never went to the vet after her recovery in 2019. 

April 5, 2022 changed my life forever. As a physical therapist who specialized in working with individuals with neurological disorders, I noticed that Meena started having what I would call a neurological event. She would seize up on one side and could not initiate a step for what seemed like minutes. That evening, I was awakened by the worst cry I have ever heard in my life. Meena was in the bed next to me and crying out, as her head tilted to one side and you could just see the muscles and veins her neck tightening. She was shaking on one side of her body. It was one of worst experiences of my life and seemed to last forever. It happened multiple times that night that I couldn’t do it any longer. A friend drove us to the emergency vet clinic. The first clinic was full so diverted us to another hospital. She was admitted for possible seizures. 

Meena is about as stubborn as I am. So of course, the entire few days she was there, she didn’t have a single seizure but they did find a grade 4 heart murmur. So they told me that she was probably having syncopal episodes. I explained I was a physical therapist and showed them a video I had taken and that I believed it was seizures. But the facts were the facts and her heart was not well. 

After she was discharged, I followed up with my regular vet and showed them the video of her and started her on seizure medication. Then the seizures actually progressed to about 15-20 a day. We started more medication. I was supposed to go on vacation but was hesitant to go. My friends encouraged me to still go for the few days and that Meena would be fine. They would take care of her. I came home to find her nearly paralyzed. I called my vet crying. I thought this might be the end. The vet explained that Meena had just started a new medication and that this is a possible side effect. Give it a few days and she will be back to normal. So I did and sure enough, she was better. 

Her mobility had decreased though from the seizures. Her back had a significant hump and she didn’t seem to be able to control her legs well or know where they were. I would describe it as an ataxic gait. A friend told me about a chiropractor who had worked on her dog. So I decided to give it a shot. 

I was absolutely amazed. He did a few little almost clicks with his fingers down her back and her back was straight. Her gait was back to normal. It wasn’t any of those huge manipulation but rather a gentle technique which obviously worked. We ended up going back frequently. In my head, I wondered if there was anything to do to help with strengthening and alignment. If she was a human, that’s what we would focus on. 

Meena’s health continued to decline for months. She was always still the spunky girl who loved food, but she was slowing down. She wasn’t sleeping at night and would just pace around the house which resulted in me not sleeping as well. She would fall all the time and couldn’t get up and I would have to go searching the house to find her and get her back on her feet. Her and Bailey used to complete who would lead on walks and we would walk for miles. By the end of August, we could barely make it down the end of the block and Meena was at a snails pace, 3’ behind me and Bailey 3’ ahead being annoyed at going so slow. I tried to just take Bailey on walks, but Meena wouldn’t have it. She had a serious case of FOMO. It was to the point that if Bailey had to go to vet, Meena came with us. Bailey ended up having a mass cell tumor, soft tissue sarcoma, and 3 other fatty tumors removed in November 2022. 

By this time, Meena had medication 4 times a day. She was passing out all the time. If she started to exert herself in any way, she would pass out. She was falling all the time. I spoke with the vet and they said, she really needed her Lasix medication 3 times a day. Otherwise, she would pass out. At that time, I decided to quit my jobs. I kept my weekend therapy job which was part time and a remote job which was also part time. I needed to be home in order to medicate Meena. Nothing else mattered. I wanted her to have the best possible life and did everything I could for her. And that meant to stop being a workaholic and have to ask for help. I had to asked a friend to give Meena her medications on weekends during the day because I worked long hours and too far away. 

When speaking with one of my vets, I was telling her how Meena couldn’t even stand to eat her food. She suggested yoga mats. That was life changing. She was able to stand and eat again. We also started gabapentin for Meena to sleep at night which helped me as well. 

The vet also suggested toe grips. Those didn’t work. Then I tried socks. Still no luck. Then I found some boots that absolutely did the trick. She could now walk on the tile floors without splaying out when she walked or turned. With the increased grip and stability, I started doing human PT techniques to help her gain some strength to help prevent falls. Her hind leg strength increased as she progressed from bunny hopping up steps to being able to go one leg after another (reciprocal steps). 

I was telling a coworker about it and she informed me that there were actually programs for canine rehab. I had no idea. So o looked up the two programs that were available at the time. I contacted one of the certified canine rehab therapist in my city and spoke to her and she was able to connect with a PT in the state who had gone to through the program with her. After speaking with the PT, I knew this was my new career path. I found the canine rehabilitation institute website and signed up for the August 2023 course, as that was the first available. They reached out to me to inform me they had an opening for the course work that started in January 2023 with the hands on lab in March. So I said yes. I talked with my vet clinic about having someone come over during lunch to give Meena her meds so she would be taken care of and began my coursework. 

In February 2023, Meena took a turn for the worst. She got a haircut and shaved and she started shivering uncontrollably. I assumed she was cold and made sure she was always wearing her “Walter Matthau jacket from grumpy old men”. Then it was warmer one day, and I left the back door open to let the dogs go in and out while I was working. Bailey came running in to find me. I looked around for Meena but she wasn’t there so I ran out back. She had fallen and couldn’t get up. She couldn’t even walk. I put in her can and drove to the vet. They were used to seeing us weekly by this time and used to her walking in her pink boots. When they saw me carrying her, they knew it was serious. The vet proceeded to show me how her back was spasming in pain. They gave us pain meds and I called the chiropractor to make her an appointment. She got a little better, but in 24 hours, she was shaking uncontrollably. I called the vet for stronger meds. I couldn’t stand watching my baby in pain. I reached out to the CCRT vet to see if she could do some pain management for her. The next day she tried laser, acupuncture, PEMF, and massage. At this point, she asked how Meena was mentally and if she was the same. And we discussed that it was probably her time as I had tried every last resort possible. So I called my vet to arrange our final goodbye. 

I wanted one last day with Meena. She deserved everything that day. We sunbathed and napped together. We went on one last walk together, even Prince joined us for it. She got Chick-fil-A and doggy ice cream. That girl never lost her appetite, that’s for sure. 

As my friend drove me our final goodbye, Meena was the calmest she had been. She knew it was time and seemed to be letting me know she was ready. The vet gave her a piece of chocolate because “every dog deserves to eat some chocolate before they go”. And she laid in my arms calmly as she crossed over the rainbow bridge. 

No one prepares you for how hard pet loss is. I never knew I would grieve so long and so hard. I am thankful for our time together and the lessons I learned. I am thankful to her for being my first canine patient and helping me to find the career I feel like I was meant to do. I wouldn’t trade any of it except of course for dogs to live forever. But the whole experience changed me forever. I never used to cry, and now I can’t read a book or watch a movie that is sad, and if there’s an animal that dies, forget it. She showed me what true unconditional love is and that as hard as I can seem at times, I’m really just a teddy bear inside. And she guided me to find my passion in my career again. I struggled with burnout for years and was afraid I was never going to find that passion again. But she helped to rekindle that fire. So she truly did change my life and my career. 

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